The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials
okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”
Okay good i didn’t want to reblog this without the racoon one
the raccoon one tho
can’t wait for the generation of grandmas with winged eyeliner
just watched concrete try and fail to fit into this napkin holder for the past five minutes, now he’s just been standing with his front paws in it looking mad and tired
are you kidding
you named your fucking cat concrete
I will not hold my tongue because you have no wish to hear me. I will not choke down my opinions because you disagree with them. I will not revert to the timid child I once was to placate you. I will not change for you. I will not be silent. I will not be the doll to your dollhouse.
you’re either a spiceps™ person or a spicerack™ person
I know this is horrifically late, but I made one of these for the science side of tumblr!
I want a story about a gay girl disguising herself as a guy to get into an all boy school. When she meets her roommate, he happens to have a banging personality and a very pleasing face. The girl has a sexuality crisis because she starts to fall for the roommate but in reality, the roommate is actually another girl disguised as a guy so that she can attend the school
Remus Arthur Potter, you were named after two men who looked out for my safety and cared about my well-being out of altruism and decency rather than because I was a tool for them to use or because I was someone’s son.